I have to admit. I am in a rut right now. I am feeling pretty overwhelmed by a lot of things going on in my life. And perhaps that has stressed me out enough that I don’t feel like eating right, and I am low on motivation to ride my bike.
This is not a good thing literally a month before I go to Japan. Over the past 6 weeks, it seems like I am on course, and then I fall of the wagon for a week. I get on course again for a week, and then fall off the wagon. So far this week, I have fallen off the wagon again. I have not eaten clean, and I have just rode my bike for the first time in about a week. It’s been hot, it’s been raining, it’s been busy---are all good excuses. But I could push through those walls if I wanted to.
I am not totally discouraged because I’ve been here before and I know that I can get out of the hole, but I am feeling discouraged over the fact that I may not even hit 100 pounds lost by the time I get to Japan. This is a big failure to me, and I have 6 weeks to turn it around.
This week I’m not feeling excited about riding to Mount Fuji. I feel like I’m heading to the dentist. You know how that feeling is. I want to feel excited, pumped up, and feeling like I will absolutely do this.
I think with a very busy schedule, traveling out of town, working hard at church, holidays with tempting food, etc., etc., all my motivation is gone at the end of the day. And at the beginning of the day, I’m already overwhelmed. I have 4-5 weekends left to really do some big rides. Japan has come too quick. Reality is facing me, and the goals and aspirations I envisioned, are not as easily obtainable as I thought. Sometimes making moment-to-moment decisions to not eat this, or to go ride my bike, can’t be sustained over the long haul.
Have I given up? No, but I need to find a big pocket of motivation to help me through this slump. I thought that the closer I would get to Mount Fuji, the easier it would be to stay motivated. I’m feeling the opposite right now.